Dr. Esther Perel on Rituals for Breakups

"At the end of relationships, three things show up when we consider healthy coping systems: work, distractions, and connection. We should consider post-breakup rituals that help us focus on self-care"

According to Dr. Esther Perel, there are many ritualized behaviors and practices around beginnings. We may make promises, share rings or create space for someone and make our home theirs.

She thinks the rituals around breakups are legalistic and that we should consider making them more meaningful. She says that the rituals for breakups can help us understand that while the relationship is over, we are not over. It brings us closure and helps us see that life goes on and there will be other loves and that we can have faith in them.

At the end of the relationship, we may go to the place we first got married and say our goodbyes. You may plan a trip alone to have something to look forward to. We should consider post-breakup rituals that help us focus on self-care – journaling, using the space you once gave to the other person as a personal space for your belongings.

More so at the end of relationships, three things show up when we consider healthy coping systems: work, distractions, and connection. They will help in this painful moment. The Dr. says that in connecting we are turning something so lonely into a collective experience, and we can see that we are not alone.

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